Hoping against history
by Scorpio-Dragon
Summary: Slash


Hoping against history 

* * *

Some nights he just walks the fences, on others he drives the truck out to a quiet spot where he can breathe and let the memories flood back on him without interruption. He still remembers going on campus for the first time and colliding with the living embodiment of charisma. Who had dark hair and eyes that devoured everything. They had a few classes together and Jonathan Kent was sure being friends with Lionel Luthor had to be the best thing that ever happened to him since leaving Smallville.  
  
Lionel was everything that he had seen in old movies on the black and white television they had at home; charming, smart and confident. Lionel believed there wasn't anything he couldn't do. Lionel attacked everything with a passion Jonathan only dreamed of having.  
  
In time he dreamed of having that passion all to himself. Which had scared him at first. You didn't consider other men beautiful or even graceful but Lionel was all of this and so much more. Jonathan couldn't help notice how soft his hair seemed or how his fingers lingered just so on anything he touched. He especially liked how low Lionel's voice could get when they had quiet conversation. Lionel was a temptation he wasn't sure how to act on. Jonathan had heard of people experimenting with all kinds of things but fear sat solidly inside him. So he kept his thoughts and his inexperienced hands to himself.  
  
So it surprised him at the end of the semester, drunk on beer and passing grades that Lionel's hand was on his thigh and seemed to have no intention of leaving. That they shared a tentative glance before Jonathan reached out to Lionel's cheek and moments later their lips met.  
  
Lionel's slight stubble at his fingertips and brushing against his cheek aroused him in a way the smooth skin of a girl never seemed to. Then Lionel's hands move to other places and started unbuttoning things and Jonathan mimicked him perfectly til they were undressed and exploring, devouring as much of the other as they could.  
  
It was better then any dream he'd had, lasted longer too. Summer months of surprise visits and long nights. Having a best friend and a lover all in one was miracle to Jonathan and his fears of small town rumors and his father's disapproving frown soon drifted from his mind. Lionel's belief that nothing was impossible made him believe it to, that they could be together. That beauty and charisma could truly want a wide-eyed farm boy who still fumbled with the buttons of Lionel's shirts when he was over anxious.  
  
But he had never grown up on fairy-tales and should have known happily ever after was just a marketing strategy to sell books. Because the end came hard, fast and devastating. Lionel in the arms of some socialite from money so old it was ancestral. Explaining that this was how you played the game in business and that she meant nothing. He could only think what must he mean to Lionel then. If there was word beyond betrayal Jonathan wished he knew it because the hurt still lingered and so did the memories. Even after finding Martha and returning to the farm. He was content, some days happy until the day they found Clark and he found Lionel again.  
  
To the world they had just met. Jonathan still wasn't clear on why Lionel started things that way. He figured it was for selfish reasons and not out of any sense of respect for Martha or Lillian. But it helped avoid questions so he didn't waste time thinking about it. He thinks now he may have to answer all those unasked questions if nothing more then to save Clark from heartache. Because he knows what he say that day on the bridge and every time Lex and Clark are together. It's like history repeating itself.  
  
Jonathan doesn't think Lex is like his father when it comes to business contrary to belief. But fathers have influence over their sons no matter how small. He can see how hard Lex fights the Luthor legacy his father has created but Jonathan isn't sure just what parts of Lionel have influenced Lex. What's slipped behind enemy lines?   
  
So he sits in the flat bed on his truck on late nights far out in the pastures and tells himself everything will be okay. That Clark is growing up and only wants to be good to everyone. That Lex is trying to be a good man and giving him credit for that could make a difference. That when they come to him and Martha, and he knows its only a matter of time, he will be fair to Lex and hope that if there is and ending its simple, quiet with a hurt that will actually fade with time.   
  
Fin


End file.
